Gay son keeps disobeying me...?

I'm tired of it. I tell him he can't be anywhere after 9pm yet he disobeys me and goes to a friend's house. I'm afraid he's doing something illegal (drugs or something). When he comes back from where ever he goes he looks completely pale and ill. He sometimes even laughs hysterically. I'm so angry at the moment. He's the most disappointing son anyone can have. First, he disappoints by being a complete girl and being gay. Then, he disobeys. Finally, he's obviously doing something illegal. Another thing, a month ago I caught him having w/a few friends and the parent of one of his friends saw him and his friend naked completely drunk laying on a table.