I don't know what I am anymore?

I don't typically get sleep anymore and I don't know why. I am home schooled and barely social interact with anyone. I am good at being cunning and manipulative because I consider every serious or business situation like a movie or a video game which actually makes me seem smart and makes me be considered a person of trust. But I still do care for people if they benefit me so I do not consider myself a full sociopath, but I watch killings on the internet at toxicjunction, and I typically play alot of killing video games. I work out and I don't really know why. Almost every night I have nightmares that I often wakeup even more confused about reality and what not like last night I had a terribly disturbing dream that my mom had been murdered and I was crying off and on in the dream and when I woke up I thought it was true and I was confused. But these dreams are getting worse and keep making me confused when I woke up, feeling empty and weird inside. Please tell me what disorder, or disorders I have and tell me what the diagnosis is. I really would not like to let my family know about this or a psychologist, but if I can't really help this then I will eventually go to a psychologist.