Fourteen years old and hurting so much. What do I do?

I hav been datin a guy for 9 months off n on n Im in luv w/ him even tho I dont sho it I cheatd on him 2ce n he has cheatd on me 2ce after I cheatd on him he told me I couldnt hang out w/ guys eva again I culd c not lettin me until he gaind his trust bak but forev NO I want my guy frinds and he cant approve of it Then yestday he cheatd on me n I cut my rist n went insane. Then I had 2 talk 2 my family bout evething cuz I hav NEVA done n e thing like that in my life. Then my mom took me to my dads and I had to talk to him because he is the only one who can help me change my mind bout things. I told my mom I wasnt stayn home cuz I wanted 2 c Caleb n was goin 2 whether I had to walk to his house because he lives in a diff town. den I just stayd at my dads n realizd frinds wil always be there 4 u a boy wont. he broke up w/ me 4 tellin him imma hav guy frinds n if he cnt get used to it then he cnt hav me so he dumpd me n dated a chik now he braggn bout it n all i hav dun is cry wat do i do