Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Add transitions in appropriate places to improve it.?

Last summer we wanted to go on vacation. We decided to go to Hawaii. We did not have much money. We decided to drive. There were five of us. Dad drove. Mom got to sit in the front seat. I sat in the back. My brother Butch sat in back. My baby sister sat in back. We got in the car. We drove. We saw lots of trucks. We stopped for food a couple of times. I bought some Twinkies. They were hard. There was gray fuzz on them. I ate them. I felt funny. We did not stay in any motels. We arrived in Los Angeles. We got lost for a few hours. We found the bridge. We got on the Trans-Pacific Bridge and drove. It took a long time. I played my Nintendo. My brother Butch fell out the window. He was lost in the Pacific. My baby sister got carsick. The car smelled funny. We finally got to Hawaii. Hawaii was closed for remodeling. We turned around. We drove home. It was terrible.

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